I Wish
There’s something in our nature that causes us to compare ourselves to others and it’s usually tied with an “I wish” statement. For a moment, replay your thoughts from the day and see if at any point you compared yourself to someone else, maybe wishing you had something of theirs—looks, money, career, family, etc. Now remember that quality of comparison.
For years I have immersed myself in the health industry working in gyms, physical therapy offices, wellness centers and yoga studios. I have front row seats for physical comparison at it’s finest. And I’ve noticed, women especially are overcritical of themselves and quick to judge, and I just might be the gold medal winner of this game. It has been a constant battle to accept my body as is and appreciate all that it does for me on a daily basis. In fact, I tend to take it for granted and try to beat it into submission only to wonder why I am so exhausted and not seeing results. Lately I have been reading several books on Ayurveda, a traditional medicine system that is native to India and addresses a therapeutic way of living. The science is most concerned with life’s physical bases, and concentrates on inducing right relationship with body, mind and spirit. For some reason, even though the information is not entirely new to me I had an “aha moment” with this last book. There is a section that talks about rejuvenation and how disease is an opportunity to learn from our mistakes. If we can find balance with our food, sleep, routine and mental patterns we can avoid becoming sick. The key is, we are all different and we have to accept that as a part of defining what is healthy action for us may not be healthy for the person we are comparing ourselves to. Longevity requires slowness; there is no magic pill or quick solution to health. So instead of beating myself up when I miss a workout or wish I was different I am learning to embrace all the characteristics that are unique to me and to me only, daily reestablishing my commitment to health and rejuvenation.
Now recall that quality of comparison you noted earlier. And consider this idea, we are generally drawn to and perhaps overcritical of certain characteristics in others because it is something we deeply desire for ourselves. Now how can you support that quality within yourself in a nurturing way? Not demanding that it happen, not assuming it will, but cultivating a sense of openness and loving-kindness towards yourself. Give yourself permission to be you, in your entirety.
